Tuesday, December 29, 2015

Well hello there.....

Do i even remember how to do this?

It's been nearly 2 years since I blogged. And In all honestly I have hardly scrapped in that time either... Alot of things in my life have changed and that has affected my mojo in a major way, as in I lost it. I literally have 10 started layouts and i can't finish them. I truly forgot how to scrapbook.

No joke.

So I'm hoping that starting this blog up will help me. Get me motivated and into scrapping again and sharing my work here.

But first a catch up maybe. I have moved. Again. My family life has been crazy and sad and hard to deal with. I have tried not to focus on it and to tell myself everyone has family shit they deal with and I am not alone. But it really has felt like I'm alone. Very alone. And it has over whelmed me no matter how much I have tried to not let that happen. I need to stop. No matter how hard family stuff is and no matter how much it breaks my heart. It's out of my control and I need to stop focusing on it.

I know I have shared here a few times my issues with fertility. Well in the time I have been gone I have also had two more tubal pregnancies. Each one tougher than the last. At this point the Dr. is basically forbidding me to get pregnant again for fear of my own safety as a tubal rupture is life threatening which I learned in 2012 when it happened and I had to have emergency surgery. Now the Dr. is telling me my only option is in-vitro and he thinks in my case its pretty much a sure thing, but nothing in life is a sure thing I guess. This infertility has really been affecting me more and more also. Because I'm getting older and because more and more people in my life keep having kids. And I try so hard, Lord knows I try but I cannot help but feel this horrible jealousy towards all those people. It makes me sick that I feel this way but I can't help it. I'm working on it.

I have also jumped jobs again. UGH. After my nearly 8 years at Johns auto It's terribly difficult to find something that feels like home again. I'm trying but John's is a hard thing to live up to. Right now I'm pretty happy so we shall see what happens I guess...

Other than those major things life has been life. Lots of time spent doing nothing when I should have been being creative. Lots of time spent watching TV when I should have been out enjoying life. Lots of time spent making regrets when I should have been making memories.

So Here's hoping 2016 is different for me. I need it. I really do. I"m sending out everything I have into the universe asking for a little patience and guidance and creativity back this year.

So...now onto what I hope to do this year, well this year on this blog. Share. I hop eto share like I used to because it brought me joy. Granted my life is different in a 1000 different ways now, but I want to try. When I blogged before I was so invloved int he blogging and scrapping world this all came very easily to me. Now I'm lost LOL. But I'm hoping to get back to that world. Back to that feeling.

I also will hopefully have a guest joining me this year. I'm working on it but shes kinda demanding so we shall see how it goes...(I know she's reading this so this is a nudge to her to get on it....)

So I will leave it at that I think... its a good start for now right? I sure hope so considering it has literally taken me the whole evening to write this post. I wasnt joking when I told you I forgot how to blog...

I will leave you with this hozier song and photo I took at his show because that was a very cool thing I did do while I was gone. It was so amazing! Thank you to my amazing sister for taking me with her. It was a great night...

I hope you come back...

I hope you want to hang around....

I hope you want to see what I have to share with you this year...

I hope you will share back and send me all your positive vibes...

I love you and have missed you all...




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5 comments:

  1. So glad you're back blogging!!! I know exactly how you feel. Scrapping has been on the back burner and life has changed so much for me also. Sending tons of positive vibes and hugs your way girlie.

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  2. So glad you're back blogging!!! I know exactly how you feel. Scrapping has been on the back burner and life has changed so much for me also. Sending tons of positive vibes and hugs your way girlie.

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  3. I love you val!!! I have been waiting for this for awhile now. You are always in my thoughts! Oh and I got the hint;)

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  4. So many things have changed but one thing remains is the desire to be creative we can do this!

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  5. Thanks you guys for all the positive vibes!!!

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